The Retrospection- Ramblings of a dying man

Look up to those skies, heaven is waiting for you.
Look down to the river, your ashes it gulps.
Look back in time, you cannot look further.

A cracking sound provoked my dormant thoughts as it was the mirror that crashed hard on to the ground. I picked up a shard which reminded me of my past which was aghast. Just like the pieces of jigsaw falling in place to reveal the cryptic picture, so was my dying brain trying to picture my past.

These limbs were young when I woke up to the screaming alarms. With my blood-hot, my will-strong, but in it lay an impurity that disturbec my balance. I sat down facing the mirror with my daily drink called ‘desire’ and there was no one to share it, so I gulped it more and more. It is going to be the worst hangover probably the longest too.

The lust and bodily desire spilled all over the bed with my love being the victim. I crawled out of it making another false promise saying “ I can’t stand losing you!” but my eyes couldn’t hide my treachery. I was back in my room staring at the mirror which had a companion who wanted to share my drink. This time the thoughts were getting rotten.

The ditch was too deep for a grave but too shallow to unearth nature’s treasure. All these years of quenching my bibulous needs, my drink had become rotten and turned into greed. Even a requiem was played for a dime as Life was measured on a unit called ‘wealth’. “ What could I do with this wealth!” I pondered building those gilded walls around my arrogance.

I return to the present day with the shard shining on my hand. It was a paradoxical preaching early in my life that tricked and dragged me into this whirlpool of evil days-

“ Be a narcissist, when you make love
Be a masochist, when you cure other’s pain,
Be an aristocrat, when you make others rich.”

Now I am a sailor whose compass had pointed to a dead-end as I take this chance to repent for we are mere voyagers in time without a power to change the past or script the future. I removed my Iron Mask that loyally shielded the malice in this body all these years. Nursing the wounds that my past had inflicted, Cursing the devil that lay in time, pampering my wrinkled skin, I realized that all these years the ‘wealth’ I had gathered had built a castle that couldn’t house its master.
Repentance was the remedy for all my past crimes. I shred all my ‘greens’ to this world. I look at the mirror which had my companion as I bid farewell to this world singing a dirge for myself.